Leave me alone, I’m on a cleanse!

Ok, ok I must admit, I am finally attempting my first cleanse.

After 10 years of living in Vancouver, B.C. (where yoga, juicing, plant based eating and mindfulness are worshipped), the West Coast lifestyle propaganda must have finally seeped into my subconscious.

My motivation to attempt a cleanse (the Wild Rose Herbal D-Tox) is part necessity, and part prove-you-hippies-wrong stubbornness. For years I have struggled with a weak immune system, I catch colds like the rest of you catch the bus, and I’m simply fed up with waking up everyday feeling sniffly, headachy and generally yucky. And once I’ve caught a cold, I am down for the count. Out, for days at a time. So something has to give, I cannot imagine living the rest of my life afraid of going out in public only to catch yet another knock-me-out cold or flu.

My other motivation behind doing a cleanse is to see if this thing the true hippies swear by really works. As a young flower child I remember hearing my dad talk about his adventures of juicing like a madman, my eyes widening when he revealed to me that you can subsist only on water for 40 days and survive! Sounded kind of weird to me, but then again most of what my old Woodstock-attending, sweat lodge-building, meditating pops said was pretty out there. But then again, he was very healthy, and if it worked for him maybe it wasn’t so crazy after all?

Skärmavbild 2016-02-09 kl. 9.44.03 em
Living the hippie lifestyle in Australia-my sis and I were pretty decently dressed in this photo, all thanks to mama. Most often we ran around wild-haired and naked.

Well I’m two days in with the Wild Rose D-Tox, and I can honestly say cleansing is brutal. I haven’t experienced any cravings except missing my Earl Grey tea and honey in the morning and getting a mild late night craving for something sweet. Pre-cleanse I was a pretty healthy eater and pescatarian, so not too much of a jump to the Wild Rose diet. But the other side effects (stomach pain, intense headaches, runny nose and chills) are very difficult to deal with. I am off work at the moment, good thing or I wouldn’t have made it through. My first two cleanse days were spent huddling on the couch or bed, praying for this intense flu to pass. Then again, this is exactly what I experience during my regular flus and colds, so perhaps this is my body’s way of finally ridding itself of built up toxins and getting me on the path to health and happiness.

My saving grace so far has been hummus, almond butter and rice crackers (snacks!), hiding away from the world, and frantically googling side effects and symptoms of the Wild Rose cleanse (to make sure I am not dying). I hope I will be able to rave about the energy and lightness I feel towards the end of this, for now its just survival. More to come…


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